Tuesday, January 30, 2007

 appear offline <3 12:10 AM






so many things happened lately that i don't even know where to start.



starting a blog entry for me i think is the most difficult. it's like an intro that creates an impression of how my entry's gonna be like.



alright i was crapping. so yesterday me and kynn went to catch hoobastank live over at fort canning, for free. yes you heard me, for free. my 2nd sis got free tickets from starhub and geez, i needed it. it was my time to scream out my frustrations and anger and sadness and disappointment and yes, everything out. thank god i didn't scream my guts out. (exaggerating)


we reached like around 6.30pm and we thought it'd be like those typical free standing gigs but it wasn't. starhub gave out mats and water bottles for us to pick a spot and have a mini picnic. i thought it was quite interesting and cool to just chill by the cemetary, in front of a stage. haaa. when the opening act was up, me and kynn was discussing whether everyone would actually stand up and rush to the front once hoobastank plays. we were quite confident that everyone would be obedient enough to stick on their mats but damn we were wrong. once they welcomed hoobastank up on stage, everyone started to walk to the front of the stage. we were like shit, now we're forced to stand since everyone around us stood. so hoobastank was up at around 8.30pm and u can guess what we did during all that waiting.




(ape lagi, cam-whore ahh....)







i think hoobastank is the nicest band i've come across. (2nd to franzferdinand) the vocalist was good at making conservations (funny ones) and encouraged us to groove as hard as possible. i did, till my waist lost an inch. (hahahha, in my dreams) they were good at working the crowd. *wink wink* oh yes, and the lead guitarist in the hat was a hottie.







oh yes, before the concert started, there were strong winds indicating it was gonna rain that night and my dad passed me this huge umbrella. (in case of fire) but guess what, it didn't rain, at all. not a teeny weeeny bit. so i had to drag home that huge umbrella. so after that, we went to the toilet at dhoby ghaut and had dinnercumsupper (timecheck:10.40pm) at burgerking. so after that i went to mustafa centre to meet my family over. once i reached farrer park, i felt like something was missing. i didnt had that huge umbrella with me. like wth!! i've tapped out of nel and i didn't have that enormous umbrella with me! i was like shit! i tried to recall where was the last time i saw it and guess what, i remembered i nicely stood my umbrella against a crack on the toilet wall.




so i called my dad and he said that the umbrella was very expensive! so i suggested that he drove me back to get the umbrella but i was told to be crazy. so fine, i'll just have to tap in and tap out to dg again, make my way back on my own and come back to farrer park just for the sake of an umbrella that i initially didn't need. how stupid of me! and i had to be with that huge umbrella by myself bringing it back and fro the mrt. it was even hard for me passing through the tap station because it seems like i had so many things on me. super embarrassing.




okie... so before the hoobastank thingy, i came over to nyp with ervy, ahmad (her beloved) and urgh-him. he had tickets from his cousin to the campus concert by hady and taufik and so we spent time together.








so updates about 'us', we're no longer together anymore. (not me and ervy. me and him) i'm now a single cheek. chey. hahahha.


what actually happened was that i initiated it but its my heart thats breaking. i don't know why. behind these smiles hides an aching heart. as i've said in my last entry, i was hoping that i could still trust him but i couldn't. his 'sweet' words were turning sour on me and i didn't care about carrying on. so at that time of the moment, i announced that we weren't compatible after all and we should just call it quits. but still, i do not know why my heart still aches and am still waiting for a contact from him. i am aware that this is the best for me but it seems that... something in me is holding back. something in me is still pinning hopes on his return.



what saddens me is that, behind the sweet(sour) words he said to me, it seems so easy for him to let me go. just one action from me, and it's over? didn't you appreciate my presence? didn't you say i changed your lifestyle and that made a great impact on you? isn't that something worth fighting for? and you didn't even make the effort to hold me back and try to make it work? i'm truly disappointed. my expectations of you was completely misguided. and yes i know, i'm the stupid one to start all this. though thinking back, this sets a test to see whether he really did appreciate me or not. right?




i used to stand alone, strong


when u entered my life, you took over


you broke through my barricade


i opened up, let you in


thinking that we were forever



your arms wrap around me perfect


your hand gripped onto mine tight


everything to me felt so right


like nothing could ever go wrong


now without you, i'm trying to survive


sewing together the pieces you crushed


and that's all left of me


trying to hold on as hard as possible


you entered my world and left in a hurry


though i hate u for that, i'm still hoping


and behind these laughs, holds a broken heart


whatever it is, it'll be if its meant to be


(i'm trying so hard to not send a message to him. its too difficult.)



♥ ♥ ♥

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its just the beginning



emma hassan
fifth-may-eightyeight
republic polytechnic
biomedical sciences
retired NPCC member
self-known photographer
all rounder music lover

a daughter, a friend


let yourself be heard


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